


The Diary.

by wokdon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Jokes, Gen, Ginny is 11 and swears ok she's a bad bitch, I thought this would be funny to do, It's crack tho lmaooo, It's what Tom and Ginny mostly talked about, Jokes, Mostly Humour, Set in Ginny's 1st year obviously, and GUESS WHAT ITS NOT ENTIRELY ABOUT HARRY
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24442633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wokdon/pseuds/wokdon
Relationships: Diary Tom Riddle & Ginny Weasley
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

_**Dear Diary,** _

Ginny paused, what would she even write in this dumbass diary. She was an eleven old girl who watched Castle Grayskull and BananaMan, what even was there to talk about?

**Hello. Unfortunately my name is Tom, not Diary.**

Holy shit. The thing talks. Cool beans.

_**Sup, Tom, not Diary.** _

She watched as the ink sunk into the blank, ancient-looking papers.

**How amusing. What is your name Joker?**

Ginny grinned, yeah she was amusing. Most humorous of her siblings.

_**Ginny.** _

**Hello, Ginny.**

**_Word._ **

**Word what?**

**_No it means like a full stop._ **

**I put a "full stop."**

**_No I mean it means like confirmation or approval._ **

**You approved me saying Hello to you?**

_**Word.** _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sup?** _

**Hello Ginny.**

_**I'm totally bugging.** _

**Why are you bugging, Ginny?**

_**My brothers are basically ignoring me and it's not cool.** _

**That's awful. How many brothers do you have?**

_**I think 7, I don't know dude I lost count. But I have like 4 with me in school right now.** _

**What school do you go to?**

_**Ok groomer.** _

**What?**

_**Why are you asking for my personal information you weirdo.** _

**I'm a diary.**

_**I thought you were Tom, not diary.** _

**Oh for Merlins sake. My name is Tom but I'm literally a book to you.**

_**Oh snap.** _

**What does that even mean?**

_**Nevermind, I go to Hogwarts.** _

**Word.**

_**Oh my God.** _


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hi Tommy._ **

**Please do not call me that.**

_**Word. Anyways Tommy I need advice.** _

**Advice on what?**

_**I like a boy.** _

**Of course you do.**

_**Shut the fuck up. He's cute.** _

**Watch your profanity. Are you old enough to be saying such words?**

**_I LOVE how people are telling me I'm like 2-9 years old, I'm 11 so shut the fuck up._ **

**I see.**

_**Okay now help me with this boy he's literally my soulmate no jokes.** _

**I'm not really that good at "courting".**

_**Bro what the heck is COURTING?** _

**Why are you shouting at me?**

_**You're a diary how can I shout at you.** _

**Goodnight Ginny.**

_**Rude.** _


	4. Chapter 4

_**Tommy, I think the caretaker at this school is a nonce.** _

**Why would you think that?**

_**I dunno he just gives the vibes.** _

**So you're not vibing with him?**

_**No. Definitely not vibing.** _

**Let me get this straight, you believe this man is a pedophile because you two don't vibe?**

_**Exactly.**_

**Oh.**

_**Also he has this cat with him all the time.** _

**Ginny are you accusing this man of beastiality too?**

_**And what about it?** _

**That's slander, my dear.**

_**Not if it's true.** _

**Do you have any evidence?**

_**No.** _

**Then it's slander.**

_**But what if I'm right?** _

**. . .**

_**That's what I thought.** _

**Do you like snakes?**

_**I dunno I've never met one.** _

**Would you like to?**


	5. Chapter 5

**_I was late to Potions and the professor gave me a week detention._ **

**Oh snap.**

**_Why is my diary saying "Oh Snap"_ **

**I don't know. It's like our brains are linked in some weird dark magic or something haha.**

_**Ok. Anyway Hogwarts sucks.** _

**No it doesn't, the people do.**

**_Word._ **

**Are you brothers paying you any pitiful attention now?**

**_As if. Percy is too busy being a prefect. Fred and George are too busy being "Rebellious" and Ronald is too busy being friends with Harry Potter aka the guy I like aka my future husband aka the boy who lived._ **

**The boy who lived?**

_**Yea he defeated this dude called Voldemort when he was a baby.** _

**Tell me more.**

**_Well he has eyes as green as a toad and hair black like a chalkboard and he is sooooo divine._ **

**I meant this "Voldemort" he defeated.**

**A mass murderer who created a genocide on Muggleborns. Basically Wizard Hitler.**

_**Oh?** _

**Yeah but Harry aka the love of my life defeated him wow he's so brave and strong god I love him.**

_**Whack.** _


	6. Chapter 6

_**Did I tell you about how my mum sent a Howler to my brother Ron.** _

**You did not.**

_**It was funny.** _

**Elaborate?**

**_Yea she was like RONalD wEasLeH hOW dAyur u StEal tHAt cAR I am ABsoLuTelY dASgUStEd_ **

**I see.**

_**No you don't you're a diary.** _

**Alas, I am.**

_**He crashed a car into the Whomping Willow.** _

**He sounds very bright.**

_**Well yeah, he's ginger.** _

**Oh Merlin not a ginger**

_**Fuck you, I'm ginger too.** _

**I apologise.**

_**Also there's this girl called Hermione Granger and I wonder if Harry likes her I hope he doesn't if he does I'll cry no joke what the merlin's pants man.** _

**Is she muggleborn?**

_**Yeah.** _

**May I suggest a Basilisk to solve your problems?**

**_What._ **


End file.
